can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
