I got chris browned last night
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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