Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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