go do what you do best...puke behind churches
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
