So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
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your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
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So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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