In the future we'll all be gay
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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