Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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