It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
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guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
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I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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