she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
