hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
