guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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