Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
