was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Randomize
