how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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