You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
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