her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Randomize
