It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
