a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
