well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
