what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
