he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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