I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
