I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You are a genius and a whore.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
