Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
love makes seman taste better
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
