I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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