sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Randomize
