you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
