He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
