I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
