We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
