Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
