It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
