so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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