so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize