not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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