ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
