the day after is always just damage control
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
