everyone is single if you try hard enough
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
