You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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