Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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