i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
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