He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
