I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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