NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize