Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
