Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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