Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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