So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm jealous of your bromance
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
