I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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