we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize