I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We just shotgunned beers for America
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
