I love black thongs
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
