Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
