Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize