I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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