and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
