Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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