hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
