yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
