does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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