She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
