Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It's never too late to be topless.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
