Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
