**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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