A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
