Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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